It was the first Christmas together with my wife… well back then, we were still dating. We drove up to Chicago in my ’92 red Ford Taurus, which broken down on the way back, in the middle of nowhere, but that’s a story for some other time.

After we checked in the hotel, we headed to the Sears Tower (renamed to Willis Tower in 2009), a 1,450-foot (440m) skyscraper built in the 1974s. Considering the age of it, he is like my big brother. Maybe that is why I have so much affection to it… Whenever I go to Chicago, I always go up there to see the view especially at night because it is one of a kind. The city is so organized that the night view looks like a shiny living organism; between blocks of buildings, the streets and the highways carry millions of cars that shine in yellowish orange. The view goes far out in the horizon especially to the south. I think it is much prettier than the view from the Empire State Building in NY, and my wife, who lived there, agrees with it.

After we “descended on the earth,” we started looking for food. I think it was passed 8pm when we started walking. The walk from the Sears Tower made us feel miserable. We were hungry but we found no restaurant that is open. My naïve Gaijin expectation was that many people celebrate Christmas eve so all the restaurants are open for celebrations on Christmas eve. What I did not realize is that those waiters / waitress and cooks also celebrate at home or in church, but not in their workplace for other people, which makes it difficult for customers like us to have nice dinner outside.

On top of our hunger, the wind in the “Windy City” was freezing. Plus, the streets under the Loop were dark with almost all the business on holiday. Occasionally, train made massive mechanical noise above our head, and cars passed by fast, as if they are chased by time. On the ground, lonely torn piece of newspaper blown by the cold wind seeking warmth of human. At the entrance of some buildings, we passed by shivering people with plastic cups asking for changes.

Originally, I wanted to take my wife to a nice warm restaurant and have a nice dinner after seeing the spectacular view from the Sears Tower but look at us now, we were hungry and tired in the dark cold Christmas eve. We just wanted to eat anything to fill our stomach in anywhere that is warmer than out on the street.

I do not remember which street it was but maybe it was Wabash… We saw Dunkin’ Donut that was open. It was far from what I expected to have for the first Christmas eve with my wife but what the heck!

We opened the glass door with cold aluminum frame. What a relief! On top of the warmth of the air inside the store, we felt the warmth of the people. It is funny I say that because nobody smiled at us or anything. In fact, the waitress just seemed busy, trying to forget she is working on Christmas eve. She was somewhat hyper, and trying to be friendly. Yet I felt warm inside. Maybe I was feeling grateful. I felt grateful for the warm place. I felt grateful for the food. I felt grateful for the people working when everyone else is enjoying their holiday. I felt grateful for being with my wife on a Christmas eve.

We left the store with hot chocolate in our hand. It was still the same freezing windy city but I was filled with warm feeling of grace for the fact that things did not go the way I planned.

By the way, in my opinion, we can experience grace in Christmas season because it is in cold winter…